Hey there. If this hits a nerve, resonates in any way, let me know. I’d love to hear what you think and where you are in finding a balance between rushing and waiting…

I used to be in a rush ALL the time. Probably because I had this innate understanding of my internal clock. As a female, we’re reminded of it constantly. “How long have you been married? Oh, that’s a long time. Any kids soon? You’re not getting any younger”. And as a musician I used to be told only young artists get developed, found, and famous.Waiting

Both are poop, I know that now. But in my late twenties, I was racing a clock I had created in my head: my success clock. And the clock won. I rushed through making albums, releasing them, funding them. I didn’t give songs time to breathe, nor myself time to edit, to revise, to revisit. I developed an intense anxiety problem.

At the same time, I was waiting. Constantly waiting to really take the plunge. To declare what I really wanted. I was waiting for someone to “discover” me. I was waiting to commit. I was waiting for something else, outside of myself, to give me signs and cues as to what to do next. Where to go next. None of this helped my anxiety.

Enough rushing. Enough waiting.

Taking the bull by the horns, declaring what it is you want, and working with a steadfast focus and intention has become the balance for me. Success is not a someday thing. It’s a now thing. And getting clarity on your definition of success is what will define the steps you take today. Not rushed, just steady, effective actions that will get you moving down the path you have chosen. (Guys, this is one of the huge results people who take my MX4 course receive- I’ve got a few slots open for the next one, shoot me an email if you want in!)

Intention is one of my favorite words. Without it, I am lost, I am guessing, I am rushing, I am waiting.

For the first time,with any project, I took my time with my new single, “Inevitably”. It was based on an idea I had for a score I did for College Humor years ago and even though I got hundreds of people asking for the song, I just couldn’t’ figure out how to turn it into a full song from a small 4-bar motif. I called my friend and collaborator Cameron Ernst and he got me through the block. Having a single for a record that didn’t exist yet was empowering… I had somewhere to go.

I decided to film a music video while I was in Europe July 2014. So many things went wrong with that trip and the video turned into what a good friend called a “masterbatory solo artist video” which totally grossed me out (in many ways). I decided to call in another collaborator, Cyndi Harvell, to take a look at the edit. She provided so many valuable ideas, including developing the storyline to include vignettes of other people looking for and almost missing out on but inevitably finding love. I loved this idea. Over the next 10 months, I continued to film various vignettes. In no rush, I posted the video to my collaborators and waited for the right time to release it, which turned out to be this week. (Of course I’m posting it here for you!)

It’s the calmest I’ve ever felt about a release. Like I wasn’t rushing for the sake of rushing, and I didn’t wait for any fears or insecurities to quiet themselves- I was simply finishing it, as the project was meant to be done. With intention, with integrity, with partners and with support. I wasn’t afraid of feedback (gross as it could be) and I wasn’t afraid people wouldn’t like the song. I just needed to finish this song the right way once and for all.

I’m now taking that peace and perseverance, and bringing into all aspects of my career. I’m curious to see if this is a phase, or if this relaxed but purposeful mode of operating is sustainable. After all, I was looking for some new results, so I had to try to take new actions.

Leave a comment below and let me know- how have you found balance between rushing and waiting? How do you reduce anxiety? What’s a project you felt was completed in the perfect amount of time? Post a link! I want to see!

 

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